A bumpy ride

Samples, Sauces & Licks

today as I was fixing my boys supper, I wiped the spoon off and immediately went to lick it off my finger and then it hit me. How many calories do I consume and how many pounds have I gained by licking the spoon/finger and sampling the food I am fixing. This made me think of yesterday when I was eating pizza with my sweet mama, we ordered Papa Johns and my fav thing to eat with their pizza is the cheese sauce. When I called to order the pizza I asked for some and then again realized and had to tell the lady to cancel that. So my challenge today for myself has been to not divulge in licking, sauces or samples. Sounds easy right? Not for me, this is a habit I am really going to struggle to break. I tell you, this weight loss and life change is a bigger feat than I ever imagined...BUT I shall CONQUER!!! :)
WW is still going good and still NO carbonated drink....YAY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

here I go......

ok so watching Julie and Julia the other night and I was inspired...not to cook a new meal each day, my family is lucky to get a meal a week. But there are certain battles I face and typically I lose those battles....so I have to decided to hold myself accountable by doing a new entry each day. As I am doing these entries, I will pretend there are thousands reading this blog and holding me accountable as well....we are never too old to pretend, right?
So my battles...well first, is my love and obsession with carbonated drinks. In recognizing my addiction to them, I have a whole new appreciation for addicts. Soda is my heroin. I have a serious, insane obsession with them. I like a certain amount of ice, it has to be a fountain drink or in a can & that first sip....ahhhhh, there are not even words. So now that I have admitted and divulged way too much info about my first battle, I have now gone a full SEVEN days with no form of carbonation. One day at a time, right?

Now my second and by far most difficult battle is...my weight. UUUGGHHH, I have battled it my entire life and am now at a point of disgust. Genetics are not on my side to begin with but on top of that, 6 rounds of invitro, 2 pregnancies (one with twins), my age and my utter hate for exercise...this isn't looking good for me. I am still nursing my youngest child so I am starving all day. If I did not know better, I would swear I am pregnant with quads based on my hunger level....but I'm not so that has now led me to Weight Watchers (the only diet system friendly for nursing moms that I have been able to find). This is where the accountability will really come in. I have a distorted self image...I am fully aware of the numbers on the scale but for some reason do not see myself as that, so maybe that is how I ended up this size. I have been doing WW for a week now, in this week I have fallen off the wagon several times....but that's the good thing about a wagon, you can hop back on and it keeps going. So here I go, day one of this journey. Let's see how it plays outs.